SeeingEyeBlog

My luck has been consistently down when it comes to meeting a girl I like who is NOT attached to someone. More to the point, I’ve had an unusually long streak of girls who want to go out with me who were attached, married or otherwise. And I’m sick of it. Why do I have a happy valentines day message on myspace from a girl who’s dating someone else? In fact, what is she doing on the computer on valentines day if she’s with someone? I don’t intend any offense, and she’s a nice girl. It’s just an easy example of what’s been happening a lot lately.

What is with this generation of women? They seem to outnumber men in their non-committal attitudes toward relationships. Everywhere I turn I find myself attracting women who don’t seem to have a hard time reconciling their boyfriend or husband at home with a yes when I ask them out. And sometimes they’re the one asking me out, and it’s only later that I find out about their significant other. Did the last generation of women burn too many bras for their own good? Have they answered the question “Are men necessary?” with a “Not really”? Whatever happened, they have certainly tasted some kind of perceived freedom during women’s liberation, and from my experience, it’s gone to their collective heads. And now we’ve got intelligent women walking around virtually asking for sex without much semblance of a relationship. Do any of them seriously think that is sexy, and/or desirable? That appeals only to a man’s most base desires, and although we men would all on the surface rejoice in the steady stream of no-strings sex, deeper down we find it repulsing huge waste of time and money.

If I didn’t want to acknowledge individual responsibility, I’d say my self control comes from the fact that I’m a man, and as a man in a patriarchal society my freedom to be non-committal was my birthright, just as it was to my fathers and their fathers for millennia. As such, the taste of that freedom is not as fresh and intoxicating as it is for women, who are just now tasting it for the first time in fifteen thousand years. Therefore, the differential between the sexes regarding the potential to exercise our sexual options now favors women. It results in a reversal of some typical stereotypes, namely, men (like me) being more docile and loyal. I’d say that if I fell for it. Being faithful to a relationship is not a passive trait, but one of the most active things a man can do, even though there are few outward manifestations of it. Inwardly though, it requires discipline, which is a responsibility decidedly individual.

So the next time an attached woman says yes to a date with me, I’m going to ask her about the guy who’s either waiting for her to get home or at work making money to help buy her that dual-income, no-kids, non-fat-mocha-latte lifestyle. Don’t hang yourself with the bra your mom tried to burn, honey. Remember who puts up with you when you’re on the rag, crying as you watch Extreme Makeover. We are your emotional rocks. Acknowledge it and embrace it, you’ll be happier that way.

I had to deposit my paycheck today before work, so I chose a branch near our Del Mar location. I had been dressing nicely for work because I find that at my young age of 26, people give me more respect as a camera operator when I dress and carry myself with authority. With my nice clothes I walked into the bank and made an impression on a young teller who caught my eye. I wasn’t at her window, but she said hi from the next window and we started to talk. The teller I was at was also curious about my paycheck because she didn’t recognize the company. I said it was a payroll company for the film business and that I was a cameraman. My girl, Diana, a tall young beautiful brunette, was very interested and she told me she watches Fashion House. I guess it’s a good show if you’re into television.

I’m lucky I’m dressing better because it attracts ladies too. Diana needs to get sushi with me. Next week I’ll put my paycheck in her bank and then withdraw her phone number.

I went to the Apple Store today to replace a faulty laptop battery, which of course was in a shopping mall. I was acosted by a strikingly beautiful woman who wanted to ask me a question. How could I say no… I stopped and entertained the offer because she caught my eye, and I wanted to follow my new life rule. Her question was whether I had heard of the Dead Sea before, and of course I have. It’s in Israel and is the deepest body of water anywhere. The mineral content is such that you can’t stay submerged and tend to float. The slit from the sea makes a great skin exfoliant, and apparently this is what she was trying to sell me.

Like all my other Jewish friends, she was genuine and charismatic. She gave me a free sample, and my calloused hands became soft as her voice. She could probably sell ice to an eskimo, because I ended up buying two vials of salt for $39 each. When you buy two, you get a different product for free. I chose the facial wash for free. This was about the time when she started touching my neck and telling me that shaving was messing up my skin, and I needed a bla bla bla….I would have bought anything at this point, because she had me under some kind of spell. So I ended up with another product, aftershave or something. She gave me a discount on that, it was only $29. I’m such a pushover. I really hope I don’t have a daughter later in life, because I can’t say no to spending money on women.

I spent enough money to warrant some personal talk, so I asked her about herself. Her name is Adi, and is from Haifa, Israel. She came out here to promote the product, and will be going back to Israel in the next few weeks. I asked her if the recent Lebanese attacks into Haifa affected her family, and she thanked me for asking and said they were all safe. I think I got some points on that one because she looked at me like she didn’t expect me to be following the news from Israel (and I do only tangentially, but I still know how close Haifa is to Lebanon). Anyway, it looks like I have my work cut out for me if I want to get dinner with her. I know the dinner won’t amount to much, but I do plan on visiting Israel sometime in the next couple years, so it would be cool to have someone there to show me around. Plus, I have to abide by the new rule for life.

Does anyone else do this? I find myself scanning for and maneuvering towards ‘chick cars’ (Jetta, Mustang, Mini, etc), so I can try to initiate some kind of discourse. Usually it goes something like this:

1. maneuver alongside
2. give my best ‘Here’s lookin’ at you kid’ look
3. ease up on the gas
4. resume gas and pass without looking (but smiling)
5. see if she moves to pursue
6. maneuver and flirt as necessary

On the first glance I usually try to look for the left ring finger (to see if I’m wasting my time), but often my best responses are from women with rings on that finger. Go figure…(what a waste of my time, yet a microcosm of life in a big city). My absolute best response was from a girl my age who seemed available. We chased each other around town like a couple of twitterpated deer. In the end she ditched me by running a red light and I never saw her again, but it was fun.

Traffic flirting is especially fun in LA where 2/3 of the cars on the road are actresses on their way to an audition. Above all, it’s a way to take your mind off the horrendous traffic.

My first post on this blog discusses my St. Patrick’s Day exploits, and my success at taking a chance with a girl. One detail I failed to include was the fact that I was wearing a specific, green button-down shirt made in Vietnam. I bought the shirt that day because I was in town without any St. Patty’s garb, and needed one at the last minute. It turned out to be a successful night.

Just less than a week ago, I had a date with a girl I really wanted to impress, and just for fun I wore the green shirt again. Just so happened that her favorite color was green, not to mention we hit it off rather well. It was a very successful date, and now I have a new reverence for my lucky green button-down shirt from Vietnam.