SeeingEyeBlog

For St. Patrick’s Day I went down to visit a couple buddies in San Diego, and we went to a local dive bar to grab a couple drinks and catch up. I hadn’t seen them in a long time, but we all seemed to have the same things on our mind: aging and relationships. We discussed the idea of subjective time, and how when you’re born, your first year is 100% of your total experience. When you’re 2, a year is perceived half as long as the year before, and when you’re 4, another half is cut off. What we realized was that being 26, we’re probably closer subjectively to 40 or 45 than we are to 18. Time starts for all of us with its foot to the floor, and accelerates until we hit that brick wall at the end. With such a sobering thought, another round of beers was in order.

On the next round, my friend Ryan mentioned this sociologist who interviewed a bunch of 90-year-olds, and asked them what they would have done differently if they could live life over again. The biggest response was, ‘take more chances in relationships.’ Still reeling from the previous topic we realized the wisdom in this statement, and its inherent call to action. So by these two gems of wisdom, we found a great rule for living. ‘As long as it’s not tacky or inappropriate to do so, follow up on every seed of attraction.’ Every inviting look from a beautiful stranger from across the room, across the street, or across the bar. Usually we’re intimidated by these potential encounters, and shrug them off. We tell ourselves we’re too busy, or some other weak excuse. But by doing that, you’re keeping the safety on, instead of taking the shot while the target is fleetingly in your sights. And you’re getting older by the day, exponentially at that! There are no rollover minutes when you die.

As we were leaving, I decided to christen the new rule by being the first to put it into practice. I had been eyeing the bartender all night, who was a beautiful woman in her late 20’s. She was working at a frantic pace all night but was keeping it together with grace. Apparently she was the only person behind the bar, and the place seemed well above its capacity because of St. Patrick’s Day. Knowing that bartenders and servers in general are never complimented for their job, and knowing I wouldn’t be able to talk to her for more than 15 seconds because she was so busy, I saddled up to the bar, and when she leaned in to hear what I wanted to order, I said, ‘I’m heading out but just wanted to thank you and let you know you’re doing a great job tonight.’ I don’t think her face could carry a bigger smile, and it was obvious I had made her day. I told her I’d come back soon, she nodded genuinely, and I left. It was a bit exhilarating. If I don’t get a date when I go back next time, I’ll have definitely made a new friend. But had I not said anything, I would have wished I had when I’m 90.